20 oct 2000 | back | archive | forward | girl | sign | e-mail

he told me to make a list and keep it in my back pocket. a list of what's good about here and now, so i don't forget. he knows that in one week, i will be in new york, spending time with marvelous people, and i may not want to leave. it's already happened once. i fall in love with it each time i go, and it's starting to get ridiculous. i can't have a long distance relationship with a city.

but he's right. i need to remember why i'm still here. there's a reason. there are many reasons, actually.

like my job, and my family, and my friends, and you.

so i am writing them down on a slip of paper: black ink on light blue lined sheets. when it is filled with words, i'll fold it in fourths and slip it in my back pocket, just like he told me to.

if i ever doubt the happiness awaiting me on the other side of the country, i will open it up and read each word at least twice.

i just hope i remember to pack pants with pockets.


my head hurts. my lips are chapped. my hair is stringy. all of this, and i am still having a good day.

i don't know how to help you.

somebody left this url in my inbox. it's rather lovely, i think.

"i had a bad dream last night. i dreamt you were missing, so i had to call to make sure you were there."
"i'm here."
"ok, good."

i'm writing a lot, lately, eh.

i am one moody girl.