sometimes, i want to break things. i want to throw vases at doors and stomp on picture frames and sock somebody right in the nose, rage-filled activities that look so glamorous and satisfying in the movies. i want to neglect responsibility. i want to forget to pay the rent and flake on you at the last minute and double park my car too close to the flaming red porsche. i want to tell you i'll call you the next day, and leave you sitting by the phone, waiting, and waiting, and waiting. i want to forget your birthday. i want to tell you what i really think about your new tie. i want to eat the last cookie in the jar even if i knew you were saving it for dessert. i want to erupt in crankiness and leave a bitter taste in your mouth and crawl under your skin without any regard for how that might make you feel. i want to be reckless, and guiltless, and carefree.

but then again, maybe all i really want is to be held and told everything will be okay.