18 june 2000 | back | archive | forward | girl | sign | e-mail

i've been dreaming a lot, lately. sometimes, i don't remember them at all -- there are clouded details, or emotions, or moods -- but sometimes i am lucky to have vivid pieces collecting like dust on the porch of my mind.

like, last night i had a dream that i was in new york. i was in some dark and sweaty bar with peter and anne and lisa and greg (who live there) and maura (who used to live there) and dawnie (who just moved there) and paul and scott (who don't live anywhere near there). and everyone was drinking beer and talking about bad 80s TV and john hughes movies and taking photos: a combination of flashing and hot flashes. and then i was on a subway and i don't even know where i was going and i felt like i was on a paris metro except it wasn't as smelly and there were no performers or solicitors. and then there was origami. a big paper crane made out of a napkin chasing a tiny one made of a gum wrapper. and you remember those paper t-shirts we used to make in high school as a creative way to fold notes you'd pass to your girlfriends? yeah. there were those, too. and to stick with the new york theme, there was cheesecake and pizza, with strawberries and pepperoni, respectively. and i looked up in the sky, and there was the chrysler building, and fire escapes on tall brick buildings, and billboards. at one point, i think i was in hoboken, new jersey, and not new york and i thought, hey this isn't so bad; it looked a little like main street u.s.a., disneyland. but i was walking with indie rockstars. i was wearing black, rubber flip-flops.

and then i woke up, and i really was sweaty and gross and exhausted, as if i had been running around. it was like a tv show, where the cloud evaporates into high resolution, and you realize where you are and what time it is and what you have to do that day and, obviously, clearly, i was not in new york. i was in LA, still, and it would be another week of blue skies, cool breezes and sitting in traffic.

maganda.org is one of the lucky few to get silicon salley's feng-shui award, for sites with "consistent attention to detail, color, layout, structure, and overall design to create harmonious balance within the framework (limitations) of the web environment."

woo hoo. thanks, silicon salley! i love you, too.

my parents are the nicest people in the world. i am pretty sure they still read this, so hi mom and dad!

i had forgotten someone very dear to me.

my friend lent me the book, ophelia speaks, so i've been reading it, right, and i have to read it slowly, and pause, and take deep breaths, because so far each passage makes me want to cry.

a boy: "is today your birthday?"
a girl: "what? oh, these flowers? no, they're for a friend. i wish it was my birthday."
a boy: "yeah, i guess we could all use a birthday."

this week, i think, will be crazy.