30 november 1999 | back | archive | forward

she apologized. "i'm sorry, i'm so, so sorry."

"it's okay," i said, "really. it's fine."

"no it's not," she said. "it's not okay, and i'm sorry."

and i accepted her apology. of course i forgave her.

but i should have apologized to her, too. when she didn't call me on my birthday, i didn't give her any benefits of doubt. i assumed that she had become so wrapped up in herself and her own life that she could not stop to ask about mine. i didn't stop for a moment to wonder if everything was okay with her. (and, god, how i whined and moped, how i ranted and rambled to my other girlfriends at how disappointed in her i was.)

then she called and told me that her parents are on the verge of disowning her. that her nights have been spent either cooking dinner for her husband, grading papers for her classes or crying, just weeping. that the walls of her world were crumbling around her.

that killed me, to hear that. i had become so absorbed in myself that i had neglected one of my nearest, dearest friends. kate truly is amazing. think of the sweetest person you know; she's sweeter, still, than that. add determination, intelligence, selflessness, biting wit and sparkling charm; that only touches her surface. she's wonderful, and she has absolutely no idea how wonderful she is.

i only said what i said because i was hurt, and i missed her. i still do, terribly. but i will keep reaching out. she needs me right now, and i will not let her down, again.

the other sister. in my bedroom last night. oh how i cried.

a box of my favorite winter clothes: my blue wool cap, my gray polar-fleece and my green plaid flannel PJs.

she was born the day after me, and ohmygosh, the similarities only begin there. go see.

either/neither: i noticed last night i say, "eye-thur" but "nee-thur." how do you pronounce it?

every city is okay, at least for a little while.

say hi:
christine@maganda.org. (you know you want to.)