22 october 1999 | back | archive | forward

last night i became 5, again.

i became the little girl with big dreams. giddy and giggly and full of glee. the adoring child who once met mickey mouse and had him sign her autograph book during a visit to the happiest place on earth (don't tell me it wasn't really him, because i know it was). it was that kind of moment, except this time i was standing before one of my favorite writers, getting her to sign a copy of her book.

i met aimee bender, who makes words dance and images fly, who wrote the the girl in the flammable skirt, a book everyone should really read. so i heard her speak at a writer's workshop at a local bookstore, and i gushed, completely. while she was talking, i couldn't sit still. when i stood before her, i couldn't stop babbling. i talked to her even after the workshop was over, and i almost followed her to the bathroom, but i figured she might think i was some sort of stalker.

what's so silly about it all is she's really not too different from me. she says "blah blah blah" and "squishy" and "squashy" and laughs at her own jokes and is so warm and genuine. like if she was in my writing class, i'd instantly want to be friends with her. she has to force herself to sit in front of the screen a couple hours a day until words squeeze their way out. she knows yucky rejection just as well as she yummy success. simply, she fell in love with words and wants to spend her life with them.

the only real difference is she's taken the plunge. ok, so she's published a best-selling short story collection and has a novel coming out next year; that's BIG. but maybe i'm right behind her. well, maybe not right behind her; maybe further back down the path, catching my breath, gasping for air, wondering if i'll ever make it. but i see her footsteps in the dirt, and i'm following. i'm slowly making my way.

in honor of my birthday -- it's nov. 22, take a moment right now to write it down -- i have made my first-ever birthday list.

am i so inspired lately that it just makes you want to vomit? good. as it should be.

i'm becoming so secretive in my older age.

go see my contribution to the PBIA (photobooth image archive). it's kate.

"i am not la-ha-ha-ha-aughing." -- the walking comedy who works with me.

other favorite authors to whom i've gushed: ray bradbury, francesca lia block and margaret atwood.

e-mail me. i like e-mail. i like you, too.