there's this fine line between waiting and acting, and i am standing on it right now.

the world says do it, do it now. but my world (the one in which i was raised, my parents, my friends, my God) says hold on, be patient, wait. i have. i do. but god. i want. right now.

i want a cordless phone and a VCR. a trashcan to put under the sink and a shelf to put over it. i want more sweaters and shoes and coats.

i want arms to hold me when i'm mopey and ears to listen to me vent. someone i can call at a moment's notice and meet at the coffeehouse down the street. someone who will send me flowers for no reason at all. someone who thinks the world of me.

and i want to know it all, already. answers. meanings. purposes. truths.

but i know, i know. patience is a virtue. i want to be virtuous, i want to be wise, i want to laugh in the face of the world that says everything must happen faster than the carpool lane and the cable modem. i do.

it's a balance, isn't it. knowing when to say now and when to say later, when to say this isn't enough and this is just fine. it's something i haven't quite yet figured out, so i just stand here, very still, hoping i don't lose my balance and fall.