lately , i've been thinking a lot about thoughtfulness, kindness and courtesy. here's the way i see it: courtesy is opening doors for people, regardless of your gender and the gender of the person following. kindness is sharing a piece of your freshly baked brownies with your pals at lunchtime because your mom is a genius in the kitchen. thoughtfulness, however, is visiting your friend who's in the hospital, and bringing her a care package. it's recording felicity for your girlfriend when you know she has to work late but her vcr is broken. it's leaving random, silly, happy gifts on someone's doorstep because you know it would bring many smiles.

there seems to be a shortage of all three, these days, and it's really too bad. while thoughtful is what i want my husband to be (what's that, dear? you want to give me a back rub, make me breakfast in bed and draw me a funny picture? okay!), i will settle for kindness and courtesy.

but nights like tonight give me hope. when i meet a table of friendly people -- ironically none of them was the one who invited me, but that's not important -- and enjoy some drinks and conversation. when i ask them what they do for a living or where they went to school, and they ask you right back. (pay attention to this next time you're out: i was surprised that not everyone does this.) when i drag my poor roommate out with me in the cold at 10pm with the promise that she'll meet some of my new friends who are so super cool and they don't fail me; they are just as nice to her as i'd hoped they'd be, and we end up walking home chattering about how nice a time we had.

nights like that, people like that, i mean, it's just cool. so cool that i forget the yuppie suit who flipped me off on freeway, or the cranky woman at work who scolded my co-workers, or the retarded boy who said things he shouldn't have-- at least for the night.