life gets way too overwhelming when i tackle all the big things, like what am i going to do and where am i going to live in a few months, or who am i going to marry and when will the big day be, and will my family be happy with my decisions and will my parents be proud, will i be successful, will i be happy, really happy, will i? -- these are real thoughts, real concerns, and not necessarily bad, but when they are so far off in the future and many of them beyond my immediate control, they are best left tucked away in my head.

so this weekend i practiced focusing on littler things, like spending time with old friends and new friends, working on long overdue projects, restocking the fridge and bathroom cabinet, cleaning organizing and cleaning some more, and simply letting spring...spring.

on saturday afternoon, i sat on a wicker stool i'd dragged out of the dining room and onto our bare balcony floor. my flip-flopped feet rested on the wall and my almost-finished copy of Microserfs and tattered dragonfly journal sat on my lap. the sun was shining, the wind was blowing, and my mind was relaxing. i wrote barely a word. i read not even a page. i just sat there, soaking the moment in and staring out at the possibility.